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Forums >> V-REDNECK JOKES >> You Know You're From Central Illinois When..

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POSTED BY: hick92 on 02/11/2012 06:12:23 AM

1. You've never met a celebrity.

2. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor on the highway.

3. "Vacation" means going to Six Flags.

4. You think of Chicago as not part of Illinois.

5. You measure distance in minutes.

6. You know several people who have hit a deer.

7. Your school classes were canceled because of cold.

8. Your school classes were canceled because of heat.

9. You have had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" on the same day.

10. You know what's knee-high by the Fourth of July.

11. Stores don't have bags; they have sacks.

12. You see a car running in the parking lot at the store with no one in it, no matter what time of the year.

13. You end your sentences with an unnecessary preposition. For example: "Where's my coat at?" or "If you go to town I wanna go with."

14. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, flower or an animal.

15. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.

16. You think of the major four food groups as beef, pork, sodie and Jell-O salad with marshmallows.

17. You carry jumper cables in your car.

18. You don't pronounce the "S" in Illinois like the rest of the world.

19. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.

20. Driving is better in the winter because thepotholes are filled with snow.

21. You think everyone from a bigger city has an accent.

22. The local paper covers national and international headlines on one page but requires 6 pages for sports.

23. You think that deer season is a national holiday.

24. You know which leaves make a good toilet paper.

25. You find -20 degrees F "a little chilly."

26. You know all 4 seasons: Almost Winter, Winter, Still Winter, and Construction.

27. You know if another Illinoisan is from southern, central, or northern Illinois and especially Chicago, as soon as they open their mouth.

28. There is a Dairy Queen in every town with a population of 1000 of more.

29. Whenever anyone mentions going out for steak, the first place you think of is Ponderosa.

30. You know more than one person with a septic tank.

31. You pronounce the invisible" R" in the word wash.

32. You actually understand these jokes and forward them to all your friends from Illinois.

POSTED BY: hick92 on 02/11/2012 06:13:24 AM

i just tossed these ones in because there great and mostly true

1.You know the difference between corn and soy beans at a glance.

2.Your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a deer next to a blue spruce.

3.You drive 65 mph through a raging blizzard, without flinching.

4.You carry jumper cables in your car and know how to use them.

5.Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.

6.You measure distance in hours.

7.Your neighbor throws a party to celebrate his new pole shed.

8.Vacation means going north or south on I-57 for the weekend.

9.You go out to a tailgate party every Friday.

05/26/2012

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